New York again

I went back to New York. I liked it more this time. I'll update this later. Next trip is to Cashiers, North Carolina.

Florida

I miss walking down my street and smelling honeysuckle in the air. I miss seeing the duck pond, both during the day when little kids are there feeding the ducks and at night when it's lit up, and knowing that I'm just about to turn onto my street and be home. I miss the beach, though I rarely went. I miss going swimming on a really hot day. I miss living near the water. I miss fishing.

I kinda miss home, and I don't know when I'll be able to go back.

Oklahoma is OK

That's literally their ad for themselves. "We'll do."

Landing back in Jacksonville, it's still very green, and I'll always like it for that. It's funny how from far above some things look frozen. Fountains spewing water that looks like ice, but the cars and people are still full of motion.

The first thing you notice about Oklahoma are the oil drills. Two of them, probably less than a mile from the airport, chugging away. Others spot the hills all over the state. Never seen one before.

So I went out to Norman, Oklahoma to see my uncle who I hadn't seen in about 5 years. He's a psychiatrist working at the first ever created mental health building in the US, established by Hayden Donahue (info may be wrong, going off memory...and there are now more than just this one, obviously). "A true American". It was only when my uncle talked about Donahue, the work he did, and the message he gave to the staff indicating that he cared not at all about the money and only about helping the patients ("Save these people's lives") that I respected my uncle. Not his fault...all we did before I asked him about where he works was eat at buffets and tell stories about the past, with he and my dad calling each other grody losers.

And again, in all fairness, they're both pretty grody.

Things we did in Oklahoma:

- Eat at buffets. So many buffets. Dear Lord, the buffets.

- Gamble at an Indian Casino

- Gamble on horses

- Shoot guns

- Go to the Cowboy Museum

- Play Canasta

- Bowl

- Watch movies

I don't understand the allure of firing ranges. But from the experience I did learn that all scenes in movies that involve firearms are bullshit. Those things are looooooud. And aiming a .45 is haaaaaaard. There's no way you can carry on a conversation or hear anything during a gunfight.

Anyway. More to come later maybe.

New York City

The following things were written about New York City:

Day 1.
Landed in Newark:
Jersey - First Impressions:
Dirty snow. Overcast. Gray. Not a single tree. In fact the first one I saw may have been the Christmas tree in Rockefeller center...
From airport to New York:
- This Monkey's Gone to Heaven --> sludge. Factories. Cargo containers, pollution mixing with the clouds, creating the clouds.
Never been in Jersey before. It's got a bad rep so I see it in a negative way. Maybe it's not so bad...it is the garden state and all. From what I saw though...sucks.
New York City - first impressions:
Hi Queen Street, Auckland. (from car)
(on foot) Hi Queen Street with a million or so more people.
Short people with umbrellas suck. Hooked me and almost poked my eyes out. Terrifying stuff. The streets of NYC are a battlefield.
Lunch --> Amadeus Pizza, formerly Famous Ray's Pizza (we saw at least three Famous Original Ray's Pizzas or some variation on this name. We were told to eat at Famous Ray's. Ray gets around)
- It was...alright?
Old man in the pizza place talked to us the entire time. Would not stop. Insisted himself upon us.
"I wouldn't lie to you."
"Can't beat the price."
"Oh my God."
"Forget about it."
Each repeated over ten times. Before we sat down, he had been talking to himself. It was 3:30 pm. He said he got there at 11am. Had nothing to do but stay...
This guy made himself one of my least favorite types of people by not taking the hint that we wanted to have lunch as a family and not with him, and by asking us the price of absolutely everything. "Where you stayin? Oh yeah how much is that a night like a grand a night?" (It ain't. We're not high rollers here, people.) "Goin to the Rockettes huh? How much were your tickets? Oh I coulda got you in for free. I got connections."
He was really pissing me off, but I knew he was just lonely. New York City has got to be the loneliest place I've ever been. Imagine living here among the however many millions of people and not having anyone. Jesus Christ.

Maybe that's why everyone tries to fit in by buying the same shit and buying into the same ideas. Saks Fifth Avenue store was disgusting. Things on sale for alf-price and still cost more than my entire wardrobe (these were guy prices; I'm sure women's clothing was worse), and people gobble it up because it's a brand. Chanel, D&G, Prada. I just have trouble comprehending people who focus so much on a label when it means absolutely nothing to me.

The Rockettes. Man, talk about conforming! I keed. But they do all look exactly the same...Impressive choreography though, it is HARD to get that many people that perfectly synchronized. The woman sitting behind us definitely wanted to be a Rockette, oooor just wanted to be punched in the face for being annoying.

Outside. Asshole New York dad yelling at his kid. Your son's life is more important than the new umbrella you just put in his hand. He almost got hit by a car, you stupid fuck.

ANYWAY. Dinner. Food. The redeeming quality of the city.
China Grille. Dear Lord Delicious.
- The idea is order food and share it with all
Appetizer: Lobster Pancakes
Entrees: Duck two ways*, Szechuan Beef, Seared Tuna*
Sides: Crunchy Spinach, Duck Wild Rice
Dessert: The Great Wall (which we Mangolianed the shit out of)
All delicious. And all of it to the musical stylings of Lady Gaga, Shakira, and Keri Hilson. Odd.
Day 1 overall opinion: NYC is a lonely place with too many god damned people in it.

This is all very negative. I am heavily influenced by the fact that it was cold and rainy the entire day, perhaps. And my brother annoys me.





Daaaaaaay 2
Tour of the city.
My opinion of New Yorkers themselves has yet to improve.
Proud of their city, or just arrogant and won't let go of something lost? New York is no longer what it was. Consumers have taken over and the powerful individual is gone. I understand the importance of and appreciate history, but I don't see the importance of telling people who used to own the now Verizon Building. New York has changed and the new needs to be accepted and embraced.
Strawberry Fields --> would be beautiful during the fall.
My favorite part of today was a family on the tour with us: mom, dad, and their two daughters. The elder daughter, still no more than 10, reminded me of my friend Cassie. She and her father were very close. On the ferry back from Staten Island she and her dad sat on a bench inside, sitting and talking, each with one arm resting on the back of the bench with fingers interlocked. It's kinda hard to explain and I may just sound creepy for watching this and now writing it down, but it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
But yeah anyway tour guide was kind of a douche. Reminded me of someone I know.
Sorry New Yorkers, I'm hating on your city.
Dinner at Esca. Absolutely amazing. Had the Pesce Nera, I believe? Monkfish (Blackfish? Poor man's lobster? Some such description) with wild mushroom and leeks. Oh my. Crepella or something for dessert. Crepe with pumpkin inside with caramelized nuts and pomegranate.
Yep.

Oh and saw Avenue Q; certainly a favorite of mine. Always fucking hilarious.

This is more a comment after yesterday, but I feel that New Yorkers have to go to plays and shows and shit to feel like magic and hope still exist, because they've completely deprived themselves of it in their day to day lives.

Again, all of this negativity could certainly be inspired by the fact that I'm here with my family. I'm sure it's much more romantic if you're here with someone you love, but that applies most anywhere.
Sad to have just finished The Fountainhead and see these things so changed. Hell's Kitchen wasn't what I imagined at all. Again --> embrace the new and all.

I had trouble sleeping last night because of the constant sirens. I did have one of the best dreams I've ever had, though. One of those you wake up from and you wish it were real. What id that's what New York gives you? A dream of something better. But fuck that. I want to see that when I'm awake, too, and I'm not going to accomplish that here.





Day 3

I have been thinking too much and so I have decided to stop. I feel that this is a safety precaution, because it's a dangerous thing, thinking.

Dinner:
Balthazar
Appetizers: Homemade Pumpkin Ravioli
Chicken Livers and Duck Foie Gras
Escargot
Dinners: Duck Shepherd's Pie
Roasted Black Cod
Chicken Paprikash
Lamb Shanks
Desserts: Apple Tatin
Profiteroles

Tried to go to MoMA but we got there late and there was such a long line that we left. Sad day. Tim Burton exhibit was sold out as well.

Short. Running out of steam.

Oh yeah, crazy man on the subway. Tourette's I'm guessing. Yelled at my mom. Not cool, brotha.



Day 4.

Didn't actually write anything down.
Left this day. Went to Frick, first. Discovered two artists I liked.
T. Gainsborough. Wonderful portraiture.
J.M.W. Turner.

And on that note I saw a graffiti artist named Shepard Fairey or something like that...gotta check him out.

In short I could never live in NYC. It was an interesting experience and I'm happy to be home where it is 62 degrees, and no longer 20 degrees with winds up to 50mph.

To survive solely off of clementines, I would have to eat approximately 64 a day.

Easy.

I had a text document on my desktop that I had apparently been using as a running journal or something. Here's most of what was in it to those who for some reason find themselves interested!


June 19 2009
All I really need is like a 25 on the exam and I'll get a C in the class, but for some reason I desire an A. Damn American school system stresses being the best of the best; not just beating the system but beating every other person who's a part of that system. Sitting outside of exam rooms here (and getting there like two hours early, which is probably also something I do due to Wake) and running into people I know, they all talk about the least they have to do to pass the class. It's all about passing, not being the best. I wish I could be so damn chill. Every aspect of this country is chill! Why are we so competitive? Does it go back to the whole individualistic/collectivist societal difference? Whooooooooo knows, man. All I know is that I'd really rather not be doing this. And that in the future I will look back and have no recollection of anything I am currently studying, nor will I remember the pain I went through studying for it. And I don't know if that's depressing to think about, or uplifting.

I wonder what I'll do with this here blog after I leave New Zealand...maybe I'll turn it into a log of what Beamer eats in a day. You know, like "Today, Beamer ate nails for breakfast." "Today, Beamer ate three used tissues, threw up, and then ate that. I am beginning to think that he's not all that smart, and that he can't actually talk even though Michael assures me that he can, but only to him."

I just saw horse fucking on TV in a commercial advertising a candy bar.

June 13 2009
I miss Flinstones Push-pops.



FOB = Fresh off the Boat
When Dave went to Miami, everybody thought he was a Mexican. That's funny. (He's Maori)


10th of May
7:48am
Fat homeless man.
Pigeon with a limp.
Prostitutes coming or going from business. Not really sure.
Downtown Auckland's no different from downtown anywhere.

I wonder if the reason we do things is because other people did them before us. We get all dressed up and go out and drink at this age because when people before us were our age, they did the same thing. It's just a cycle. I didn't make a conscious decision to go to college, it was just the next stage in life after finishing high school. I feel like Tyler Durden calling home to his dad once a year and asking what to do next. And gettin' all dolled up is just another step. So I wonder who started it?
So I was thinking about this and then realized that you could do the same thing for God. Those who believe do so because others before them believed, and I feel that if you trace it all the way back to the beginning, to the first person or group of people that first believed in a/any god, it was a belief born out of ignorance and fear. And that's not a bad thing.

Feel free to call me a heathen.

So when we're mountain biking through the redwood forest of Rotorua, we go off on this grade 2 path, and it's got some pretty steep drops that freak Janelle and me out at first. I see JT fly out on some of them, and I kinda reason to myself "Well, A) JT just made it, so it's okay. And B) it's the only possible way to go, so it must be doable. I guess you just have to let go of inhibitions and just go" (This is a big thing I've learned here that has started to be applied to all aspects of my being). SO ANYWAY I start tearing shit up and I feel cool about it and we're all trying to keep together so we'll brake and let others go by, and one of the people that passes us is this girl who can't be more than 7 and she's tearing that shit up like it's her job. She's zipping through trees until her rainbow helmet and tassels on her handle bars are no more than a kaleidoscopic blur. It was hard to feel like a badass or like I had grown as a person at age 21 when some little 7 year old girl dressed in bright colors is kicking my shit all over the track, but I'd never mountain biked before in my life and she was probably a robot anyway so fuck her because her speed was inhuman. (6/8/09)